Every Board Has an Elephant. Most Just Feed It.

6 days ago
5 min read

Every Board Has an Elephant. Most Just Feed It.

Every board has an elephant. Maybe it's the board member who dominates every conversation. Maybe it's the beloved CEO whose performance has quietly slipped. Maybe it's the fundraising problem everyone discusses but nobody owns. Or perhaps it's the strategic initiative that has been "almost successful" for six consecutive years.

Everyone knows it's there. Nobody wants to mention it. So the board does what organizations often do when courage becomes inconvenient: They feed the elephant.

Elephants Have Excellent Appetites

Boards feed elephants in all kinds of ways. They postpone difficult conversations. They soften uncomfortable language. They create committees. They commission another study. They put the issue on next month's agenda, where it enjoys a brief appearance before being returned safely to its natural habitat.

Occasionally, they even hire a consultant. As a consultant, I appreciate the business, and it would be a privilege to help. But sometimes you don't need another consultant. You need someone in the room willing to say, "We all know what the problem is. Why aren't we dealing with it?" That's where leadership begins.

The Issue Usually Isn't a Secret

After years of working with nonprofit boards, I've learned something surprising: The biggest organizational problems are rarely hidden. People know. They talk about them in the parking lot. They discuss them over dinner. Board members call one another after meetings. Staff whisper about them. The executive committee knows. The CEO is usually the first to know.

Then the board meeting begins, and suddenly everyone develops amnesia. The issue isn't lack of information. It's lack of willingness to put the information on the table.

Avoidance Feels Cheap. It Isn't.

Avoiding a difficult conversation feels like the safer choice because there is no immediate price. Nobody gets angry. Nobody feels embarrassed. Nobody threatens to resign. The wind stays calm, and everyone gets home in time for dinner.

Unfortunately, avoidance charges interest. A mediocre executive becomes an organizational crisis. A dysfunctional board member drives away three good ones. A fundraising weakness becomes a cash-flow problem. A questionable program consumes another $500,000 because nobody wants to admit the organization should have stopped funding it two years ago.

Problems rarely improve because nobody talks about them.

Why Good People Stay Quiet

Most board members aren't cowards. They're decent people trying to do the right thing. And therein lies part of the problem. Nonprofit boards tend to attract thoughtful, community-minded people. They value relationships. They don't want to embarrass colleagues or create unnecessary conflict. Those are admirable qualities—until being nice becomes more important than being responsible.

I've seen this repeatedly at board retreats. Someone finally raises an issue that has apparently existed for years, and within minutes half the room is nodding. That's when I sometimes wonder: Where were all these nods three years ago?

The Elephant Gets Bigger

Organizations sometimes treat difficult issues as though ignoring them will keep them contained. It usually does the opposite.

The dominant board member becomes more dominant because nobody pushes back. The struggling CEO assumes the board is satisfied because nobody says otherwise. The ineffective program keeps receiving funding because every year's budget quietly incorporates last year's bad decision.

Silence sends a message, and frequently it's the wrong one. When a board repeatedly tolerates something, eventually that tolerance starts looking a lot like approval.

The Best Board Retreats Put the Elephant on the Agenda

One reason board retreats can be so valuable is that they create something normal meetings rarely provide: space. At the best board retreats I've facilitated, the breakthrough moment is often not a brilliant new strategy. It's when someone finally says what everyone has been thinking.

"Our board isn't engaged." "We aren't raising enough money." "This program isn't working." "We don't trust the numbers." "We keep avoiding the CEO issue."

The temperature in the room changes immediately. Not because the problem suddenly appeared, but because the pretending finally disappeared.

Naming the Elephant Isn't the Same as Attacking It

This distinction matters. Courageous governance isn't about creating conflict for entertainment. It isn't about humiliating people, assigning blame, or turning every board meeting into a cage match. It's about telling the truth respectfully.

There is an enormous difference between saying, "Bill is destroying this board," and saying, "We have a pattern where a few voices dominate our discussions, and I think it's preventing other board members from contributing."

One attacks a person. The other addresses a problem. Strong boards learn the difference.

Someone Has to Go First

Every difficult board conversation has a moment when somebody has to be first. First to question the assumption. First to challenge the numbers. First to say the strategy isn't working. First to acknowledge that the organization has outgrown a person, program, structure, or tradition it once loved.

That's leadership. And here's something I've noticed from facilitating board retreats: Once one respected person speaks candidly, others frequently follow. The clouds in the room clear and people feel free to speak their minds without fear of retaliation. The elephant wasn't invisible afterall; everyone was simply waiting for someone else to point at it.

Create a Culture Where Truth Is Normal

The ultimate goal isn't to become better at confronting elephants. It's to stop allowing them to grow. Board chairs and CEOs can help by routinely asking questions that make candor normal: What aren't we talking about? What concerns aren't being voiced? Where are we accepting mediocre performance? What are we pretending not to know?

Ask those questions often enough and something important happens. People stop waiting for a crisis before telling the truth.

Takeaways

Every board has uncomfortable issues. Effective boards address them before they become crises.
Silence isn't neutral. What a board repeatedly tolerates can eventually appear to be approval.
Avoidance feels easier in the short term but usually makes the eventual problem larger and more expensive.
Address the issue without attacking the person. Candor and respect can coexist.
Board retreats provide valuable space for conversations that ordinary agendas often crowd out.
Board chairs and CEOs should routinely ask what isn't being discussed.
Courageous governance often begins with one person willing to say what everyone else already knows.

Final Thoughts

The greatest threats facing nonprofits aren't always economic downturns, donor losses, government funding cuts, or competitive pressures. Sometimes the biggest threat is sitting quietly in the boardroom while everyone carefully talks around it.

Great boards aren't great because they don't have elephants. They're great because they don't feed them. They name them, discuss them, deal with them, and then get back to doing the work their mission actually requires.

Tom Iselin

Rated One of America’s Best Board Retreat

and Strategic Planning Facilitators

About the Author

Tom Iselin is recognized as one of America’s leading authorities on high-performance nonprofits. He has built nine sector-leading nonprofits and two software companies, written six books, sits on multiple boards, and has been rated one of America’s Best Board Retreat and Strategic Planning Facilitators. His work on nonprofit strategy, board leadership, and culture has been featured on CNN, Nightline, and in Newsweek.

Tom is the president of First Things First, a firm specializing in board retreats, strategic planning services, fundraising strategy, and executive coaching for nonprofit CEOs.

Board Retreats & Strategic Planning

If you’re looking for a board retreat facilitator or strategic planning facilitator who has been in the trenches and understands real-world nonprofit challenges, Tom can help your board gain clarity, build alignment, and create an actionable plan that improves performance and impact. His sessions propel organizations to the next level of performance and impact . . . and they're fun!

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