Are Your Donors Not Responding -- Try This!
- Tom Iselin
- May 30, 2021
- 3 min read
Updated: 2 days ago
The "Rainmaker" series provides strategies, tips, tactics, secrets, trainings, and lessons for board members, CEOs, and staff to improve performance, impact, engagement--and to raise a bunch more money! This video is 4 min. This video is reminder that you should sweat the things you CAN control with the donors and not the stuff you can't control. https://youtu.be/ETvEjtcEuGo
Are Your Donors Not Responding -- Try This!
Donor Silence Often Has NOTHING to Do With You
(Donors not Responding)
This is the big one. A donor’s decision to give — or to not give — is often tied to their personal circumstances, not your performance.
Life gets messy. People hit bumps. Things come up.
A donor might go dark because:
They had unexpected surgery
They’re buying or selling a house
They’re dealing with a massive tax bill
They’re moving out of state
They’re overwhelmed, stressed, or depressed
Their life is simply in transition
The key lesson?
Don’t sweat the things you can’t control.
Your instinct may be to panic or overanalyze, but more often than not, it’s not about you. It’s about their life.
How to Respond When a Donor’s Life Gets Disrupted
Instead of pressing harder or trying to “fix” it, shift into empathy.
Do this instead:
Acknowledge their situation
Express compassion, patience, and grace
Ask how they prefer to stay connected
Remove the pressure and stay supportive
This is where deeper loyalty is created. When donors learn that you care more about them than their money, you earn both their hearts and their long-term giving.
**But Here’s the Twist…
You SHOULD Sweat the Things You Can Control**While donor circumstances are outside your power, donor experience is not.
Many donors stop giving for reasons that are your responsibility:
They didn’t feel thanked
They felt unappreciated
The organization was inconsistent
No one showed impact clearly
Emails were impersonal or sloppy
Communication was weak or unreliable
These are the areas where your fundraising team can shine — or stumble.
Your job as a fundraiser?
Sweat the small stuff that shapes the donor experience.
Become a Standout Fundraiser by Mastering the Controllables
If you want donors to stay loyal, enthusiastic, and generous, you need to consistently deliver an exceptional experience.
Here’s where to focus:
1. Upgrade Donor Communications
Say thank you promptly and sincerely
Personalize touchpoints
Avoid generic, mass-produced messages
Celebrate their specific contribution
2. Show Them Their Impact
Donors want proof their gift matters.
Share stories
Provide results
Connect their giving to real change
Help them feel their contribution
3. Provide Excellent Customer Service
Treat donors like partners, not transactions.
Be warm
Be reliable
Be proactive
Be consistent
This is where your organization can pull ahead of 90% of nonprofits.
Happy Donors Become Loyal Donors
At the end of the day, every tiny positive experience builds trust. Every thoughtful gesture strengthens the relationship. Every clear demonstration of impact encourages future giving.
**The small stuff matters.
Do more of it — even if it makes you sweat a little.**
Because the return is worth it:Loyal, generous, long-term donors.
Summary: What Fundraisers Need to Remember
Here’s the whole video in one tight list:
Don’t Sweat What You Can’t Control
Donors have life events you’ll never know about
Silence usually isn’t rejection
Show empathy, patience, and understanding
Do Sweat What You Can Control
Thank donors well
Communicate reliably
Demonstrate impact regularly
Personalize outreach
Provide exceptional donor care
When donors feel valued both emotionally and practically, they stay with you.
Final Thoughts
Great fundraising isn’t about pressure — it’s about presence.Be empathetic when life hits your donors.Be excellent in every touchpoint you do control.
Do both well, and you’ll not only raise more money — you’ll build relationships that last for years.
Tom Iselin
Rated One of America’s Best Board Retreat
and Strategic Planning Facilitators
About the Author
Tom Iselin is recognized as one of America’s leading authorities on high-performance nonprofits. He has built nine sector-leading nonprofits and two software companies, written six books, sits on multiple boards, and has been rated one of America’s Best Board Retreat and Strategic Planning Facilitators. His work on nonprofit strategy, board leadership, and culture has been featured on CNN, Nightline, and in Newsweek.
Tom is the president of First Things First, a firm specializing in board retreats, strategic planning services, fundraising strategy, and executive coaching for nonprofit CEOs.
Board Retreats & Strategic Planning
If you’re looking for a board retreat facilitator or strategic planning facilitator who has been in the trenches and understands real-world nonprofit challenges, Tom can help your board gain clarity, build alignment, and create an actionable plan that improves performance and impact. His sessions propel organizations to the next level of performance and impact . . . and they're fun!
Board Retreats and Strategic Planning Services:
858.888.2278
