Cultural Facets of Getting Personal and Kindness and Caring
- Tom Iselin
- Mar 20, 2021
- 4 min read
Updated: Dec 12, 2025
This blog and video provides an overview of two key "facets" required to build a a healthy organizational culture -- "getting personal" and "kindness and caring."
Cultural Facets of Getting Personal and Kindness and Caring
Today we continue the series on building a Get It Done culture. In the previous episode, we discussed two critical cultural facets—safety and giving people a voice. Today, we’ll explore two more that are equally powerful: getting personal and kindness and caring.
Why Personal Relationships Matter in Nonprofits
If you spend enough time in the nonprofit world, one thing becomes clear: the most successful organizations intentionally foster close personal relationships. The result is a team-oriented culture that is friendly, resilient, and enjoyable.
“Getting personal” is an essential cultural facet because relationships play an outsized role in nonprofit success—especially in emerging organizations where staff and boards are small.
When six people share a tight office space, it’s impossible to hide quirks, irritations, habits, or personality traits forever. Without strong relationships, small tensions quickly escalate into distractions, drama, or passive-aggressive behavior—none of which a resource-strapped nonprofit can afford.
Simple Ways to Get Personal (and Strengthen Culture)
One of the most effective ways to build personal connections is through shared experiences outside of routine work.
Instead of always defaulting to formal meetings or restaurant lunches, try:
Picnics instead of sit-down lunches
Board meetings hosted in a board member’s home
Starting a meeting with a wine tasting
Field trips to a museum, sports game, or state fair
Volunteering together for another local nonprofit
If you’re in a leadership role, challenge yourself to step back and loosen control during these activities. The goal isn’t productivity—it’s connection.
Talk less.Laugh more.Let people be themselves.
When people feel relaxed and valued, relationships deepen naturally.
Using Personal Questions to Build Trust
One of my favorite techniques for strengthening relationships is asking lighthearted personal questions in group settings—morning meetings, team lunches, or even at the top of a mountain bike ride.
Timing and tone matter. These questions should feel organic, not like an interrogation.
Some favorites include:
What’s your favorite hobby?
What’s one of your quirky habits?
What’s the most unusual pet you’ve ever had?
What’s your funniest high school memory?
Going around the group and sharing responses often leads to laughter, storytelling, and genuine bonding.
Strong cultures require strong personal connections, and fun shared experiences make those connections possible.
The Power of Kindness and Caring
Another cultural facet every nonprofit should consider is kindness and caring.
Life is unpredictable, and personal challenges are inevitable. People get sick. Loved ones pass away. Cars break down. Financial stress hits. Illnesses arise.
A kind and caring culture responds to these moments with compassion.
Examples include:
Board members preparing meals for a sick colleague
A bookkeeper helping a staff member navigate a home loan application
A volunteer jump-starting a dead car for an intern
These small acts create a neighborly environment where people feel supported—not just as workers, but as human beings.
Here’s a powerful question to consider:Do you show as much care for your staff and board members as you do for the people you serve?
It’s worth reflecting on.
Creating a Culture Where People Feel Valued
A kind and caring culture doesn’t mean creating a “Leave It to Beaver” workplace. It simply means creating an environment where people know they matter—and that when life gets hard, their team is there to help.
When people feel safe, cared for, and appreciated, loyalty deepens. Engagement increases. And culture becomes a stabilizing force that carries the organization through challenges.
Takeaways
Strong nonprofit cultures are built on meaningful personal relationships.
Getting personal reduces conflict, drama, and disengagement.
Shared social experiences deepen trust and team spirit.
Leaders should step back during social activities to allow authentic connection.
Kindness and caring create safety, loyalty, and emotional resilience.
Culture should support people not just professionally, but personally.
Summary
A Get It Done culture thrives when people feel personally connected and genuinely cared for. By encouraging relationship-building, shared experiences, and compassionate support, nonprofits create environments where people feel valued, safe, and motivated to contribute their best. Getting personal and leading with kindness strengthens trust, deepens commitment, and builds a culture capable of sustaining excellence and impact over the long haul.
Tom Iselin
Rated One of America’s Best Board Retreat
and Strategic Planning Facilitators
About the Author
Tom Iselin is recognized as one of America’s leading authorities on high-performance nonprofits. He has built nine sector-leading nonprofits and two software companies, written six books, sits on multiple boards, and has been rated one of America’s Best Board Retreat and Strategic Planning Facilitators. His work on nonprofit strategy, board leadership, and culture has been featured on CNN, Nightline, and in Newsweek.
Tom is the president of First Things First, a firm specializing in board retreats, strategic planning services, fundraising strategy, and executive coaching for nonprofit CEOs.
Board Retreats & Strategic Planning
If you’re looking for a board retreat facilitator or strategic planning facilitator who has been in the trenches and understands real-world nonprofit challenges, Tom can help your board gain clarity, build alignment, and create an actionable plan that improves performance and impact. His sessions propel organizations to the next level of performance and impact . . . and they're fun!
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