Why Forcing Board Members to Ask for Money Is a Terrible Fundraising Strategy
- Aug 8, 2015
- 4 min read
Updated: Feb 13
Should board members be required to raise money? This articles and video highlights the perils that can happen when board members are "forced" to ask donors for money.
Why Forcing Board Members to Ask for Money Is a Terrible Fundraising Strategy
In the next few minutes, I want to talk about a common—and deeply flawed—fundraising practice: forcing board members to ask people for money.
We’ve all seen it. A give-or-get policy.A fundraising quota.A subtle (or not-so-subtle) push for every board member to “make the ask.”
It sounds reasonable on paper.In practice, it’s a disaster.
What Happens When People Are Forced to Ask for Money
When someone feels pressured to ask for money, is afraid to ask, or simply lacks the skill to do it well, bad things happen. Here are the most common outcomes.
1. You Get No Donation
If a board member is inexperienced or uncomfortable, they may:
Ramble
Apologize
Undercut the ask
Fail to clearly ask at all
The donor senses the discomfort—and says no.
That’s not a donor problem.That’s a process problem.
2. You Get a Smaller Donation
Sometimes the donor does give—but far less than they could have.
Why?
The ask lacked confidence
The value wasn’t clearly communicated
The board member didn’t know how to guide the conversation
An ineffective ask leaves money on the table.
3. You Lose the Donor Altogether
In some cases, a poorly handled ask makes the organization look:
Unprofessional
Disorganized
Desperate
A donor may stop giving entirely—not because they dislike the mission, but because the experience felt wrong.
That’s an expensive mistake.
4. You Create Bad Word-of-Mouth
When donors have a bad giving experience, they talk.
They tell:
Friends
Colleagues
Family members
And the last thing any nonprofit needs is negative chatter about its fundraising tactics.
Bad experiences travel fast.
5. You Lose Board Members
Let’s be honest.
Some people would rather eat soap than ask someone for money.
When board members feel:
Anxious
Pressured
Embarrassed
Set up to fail
They leave.
Forcing people to fundraise in ways that terrify them is one of the fastest ways to lose good board members.
What This Means If You’re a Board Member
If you are not genuinely excited about asking people for money—or simply not good at it—you shouldn’t be doing it.
Fundraising is a skill.And not everyone should play the same role.
Let people who are:
Comfortable
Skilled
Confident
Trained
Do the asking.
But Let’s Be Clear—This Doesn’t Let Anyone Off the Hook
Now, a word to the holdouts.
If you’re fearful of asking for money—or lack the skill to do it well—that does not excuse you from supporting fundraising.
As a board member, you have a responsibility to help ensure the organization meets its financial obligations.
Support can look like:
Making a meaningful personal gift
Making introductions
Hosting small gatherings
Thanking donors
Sharing the mission publicly
Helping in ways aligned with your strengths
Everyone participates.Just not in the same way.
If You Want to Learn How to Ask—You Can
If you want to ask for money but feel nervous or unskilled, that’s different.
Fundraising can be learned.
With training, practice, and support, many people become confident and effective solicitors. And I’m always happy to help people develop those skills.
But forcing someone before they’re ready helps no one.
The One Rule You Should Never Break
Here it is:
Never—never—never force board members or staff to ask for money.
When you do, you risk:
Losing donations
Losing donors
Losing board members
That’s a lose-lose-lose situation no nonprofit can afford.
Key Takeaways
Forced fundraising leads to bad donor experiences
Poor asks result in lost or smaller gifts
Donors may stop giving altogether
Negative word-of-mouth damages reputation
Board members quit when pressured
Fundraising should align with skills and comfort levels
Summary
Effective fundraising is about playing people to their strengths, not forcing them into roles they fear.
Let great askers ask. Let connectors connect. Let ambassadors advocate.
When you respect differences, protect donors, and support board members properly, everyone wins—and your fundraising results improve dramatically.
Tom Iselin
Rated One of America’s Best Board Retreat
and Strategic Planning Facilitators
About the Author
Tom Iselin is recognized as one of America’s leading authorities on high-performance nonprofits. He has built nine sector-leading nonprofits and two software companies, written six books, sits on multiple boards, and has been rated one of America’s Best Board Retreat and Strategic Planning Facilitators. His work on nonprofit strategy, board leadership, and culture has been featured on CNN, Nightline, and in Newsweek.
Tom is the president of First Things First, a firm specializing in board retreats, strategic planning services, fundraising strategy, and executive coaching for nonprofit CEOs.
Board Retreats & Strategic Planning
If you’re looking for a board retreat facilitator or strategic planning facilitator who has been in the trenches and understands real-world nonprofit challenges, Tom can help your board gain clarity, build alignment, and create an actionable plan that improves performance and impact. His sessions propel organizations to the next level of performance and impact . . . and they're fun!
Board Retreats and Strategic Planning Services:
858.888.2278
